Packing... Oh the Anxiety!

Current Countdown: 12 days until Nepal!!

With the trip fast approaching, people keep asking me if I’m excited, and of course I am. But I’m nervous too, and sort of a little scared. There’s a lot to wrap your head around when you’re leaving the country and going somewhere so very far outside of your comfort zone. I have a million questions that have yet to be answered, no idea where I’m actually living, and I’m still unsure of what to expect.

With all that being said, I finally acknowledged today that I may be avoiding how real and how soon this is all happening. The countdown has until now been nothing but a blur of numbers. I came to realization of my avoidance today when I looked at the two very empty suitcases sitting in my room;
these suitcases have been sitting in my room for about two weeks and I haven’t even taken the plastic wrap off of one. To those last-minute packers, this may seem like no big deal… but, you see, I am the opposite. I like packing for weekend trips a week or two in advance... which makes me about 3 months behind in my packing for Nepal haha!

I think a lot of my nervousness stems from this being something that I’ve been working towards for the last three and a half years; my extreme levels of excitement for this trip are in part why I’m so nervous. I’m also nervous for all that I leave behind. I am so excited to live this adventure but I will of course miss home, my friends, and my family. They will all be experiencing new things and living great adventures as well so, naturally, I have FOMO. And that’s okay. I’ve finally come to terms with all of this and, though I’ve had some people tell me that you shouldn’t think about the “bad” stuff, I disagree. I think it’s important to acknowledge and accept the anxiety; it doesn’t at all take away from my enthusiasm or anticipation for the trip. I know it’s going to be an absolutely amazing, and eye-opening experience. By thinking about some of the “bad”, I find myself mentally preparing myself for all that is to come. Each experience – as small as it may be, good or bad – is a life lesson. Each of these lessons enhances your self-awareness and, ideally, helps you become a better version of yourself. So today, I embrace the moments to come these next 8 months – the difficult, the sad, the lonely, the exhilarating, the funny, the confusing, the heart-warming, and the eye-opening.

Folks, for those of you confused by what just happened above, you’ve been fortunate enough to witness me using my blog to deal with and overcome my personal issues. I hope you enjoyed the sneak peek into the workings of my head.

In light of my new realizations, its about time I get it together. I am going to get the ball rolling, and tomorrow I shall start packing!!!